Soggy day at the Jersey Shore

Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.- Theodore Roosevelt

Yesterday I ran the New Jersey Marathon in Long Branch. I had three goals for myself. To finish in 3:48, to finish in 3:50 and finally to have a respectable finish. Since I was babying my back & hip last week to finish was my main goal.

I woke up feeling GREAT! So great I didn't think I needed to massage my back & hip from the dreaded sciatica issues I had last week but I did because I knew I should. Ritually I go outside before I get dressed to feel the weather. It was overcast & drizzly. No major rain. I became friendly with a three guys in the lobby and we decided to share a cab to the start. The baggage claim & some bathrooms are inside a hotel on the boardwalk. It was nice to stay warm while eating, stretching, & prepping. Oddly I had no anxiety before the start like I normally do. Today was going to be a true test and I was prepared.

After nervously seaching for my 3:50 pacer I found him. The guy, Tom, was 6'3, hard to miss! I informed Tom that I planned to stay with him the whole time. How many times has he heard that? I waited with the group anxious to start. The race was supposed to start at 7:30 am. At that time it was still just light drizzle and 51 degrees. Perfect conditions. For whatever reasons we didn't actually start until 7:55.

I have to say I didn't really sightsee much during this race. I just focused on Tom, my pacer, in the orange shirt. I mainly tucked behind him most of the time. I felt great going into mile 9 when the hip started to get sore. I tried to focus on smaller strides because this seems to help. This was a really flat course with two tiny inlines at mile 9 & 18. This was also a double loop course. The first half merges with the half marathon finishers. We continued on the course for the second loop. I was kinda wishing I looked around more so I could recall markers but it didn't matter at this point. It started to rain a bit harder by now. I stayed with Tom up to mile 18. I grabbed an orange wedge as I passed the aid stations and sucked on it. For some reason I felt a bit lightheaded. Worried I held back a bit. Tom was still about 20 feet ahead of me while I tried to access my fuzziness. It was at this point that I started to think "am I hitting the wall?" I've never hit the wall before! I soon guesstimated that I did not hit the wall. It was pouring torrential rains at this point and my clothes were drenched. Being soaked led to cold. My hands & fingers were numb. My legs heavy. I couldn't even feel my fingers to reach into my pockets for shot blocks. I decided I didn't need them if I couldn't get them. I also felt a blister on the ball of my foot at this time so I was trying not to apply too much pressure on it as I ran. Going into mile 20 I did the math in my head and knew a BQ was still within reach if I pressed on. Unfortunately my legs were so heavy they weren't moving as fast as I wanted them too. I started falling behind my pace group. I could now see Tom about 200-300 feet ahead. I just wanted to keep him within sight no matter what. My time at mile 23 was 3:23:47. Fuzzily I did the math and figured I needed to run sub 9's for the next 3.2 miles to qualify. It was pouring, I was drenched, my limbs were frozen. I decided at that point to haul butt to mile 24 then readjust my game plan from there. I hit mile 24 at almost 3:33. I knew I didn't have it in me anymore and just wanted to quit. I could attempt to haul my butt to the finish and barely qualify by 2-3 minutes but I decided to enjoy the last few miles. I ran hard but did not look at my watch anymore. I turned off my Ipod and enjoyed the cheering crowds & cowbells. My name was on my bib and for the first time I was happy to hear people cheering for me. One man yelled, "You're a sub 4 marathoner Fran!!" I just smiled at him. Years ago all I wanted was a sub 4 marathon. Here I was on my way to my second sub 4.

I crossed the finish line at 3:56:19 according to my watch. (Official results-3:56:20.) When I crossed the finish line and stopped my knees buckled. Someone caught me. Thank God! A young man held me up as they rushed a wheelchair over to me. I screamed, "No, I don't need that, I just need a few minutes here!" I just kept repeating, "give me a minute, give me a minute." After about two minutes I stood up straight and started to walk. The same guy who held me up walked with me a few feet. I knew I was fine and told him so. I don't know if I thanked him and that bothers me still. Thank you angel at the finish line! They gave out medals & hats at the finish. No heat sheets because it's not environmentally safe. I hurried over to the food tent. I wasn't hungry but knew I should eat/drink something. There were serving hot food but it was gone. I was told to wait for it. I was so cold and wet I just wanted to go back to baggage claim and change into my dry clothes.

Even when I finally changed I was shivering uncontrollably. I went to purchase a cup of coffee to try to warm up. The cashier commented on how I was shivering and didn't let me pay for it the coffee. I called a cab to take me back to the hotel. I waited 40 minutes for the cab, shivering the whole time. The hotel I stayed at had a 4pm check out just for marathoners. When I got back to my room I took the longest HOT shower ever. It was spiritually & physically cleansing.
After that I got a good look at the blister on my foot. If you saw the movie "Run Fatboy Run" you saw the part where the guy got a huge blister on his foot. Mine was almost as big! I now have three black toes too.

After all the tears I've straightened up and realized how well I did despite my injury and the weather. It is my best marathon time to date. I was mainly upset because I felt like I needed to prove to my family that hard work pays off. It does eventually. Going back out there and trying again is a more valuable lesson.

When I came home everyone greeted me with great big hugs & kisses. That's quite the reward if you ask me.

Aspire 10k- Short & sweet

Saturday morning was cold, windy & drizzly. Yeah perfect running weather huh? This was a hilly one. Thank goodness I've been running hills even though Jersey is gonna be flat. My darling 15yr old son came along to take pictures of runners for my running club. He was positioned at the top of mile five. The kid was out there over an hour and took 600 pictures! It was cold, his fingers were frozen and he was shivering but he stayed there and took phenomonal pictures. He did a great job. That's my kid, determined!

I set a goal of 49 minutes and felt I needed to redeem myself from the 15k debacle a few weeks ago. I started out way to fast when I hit mile one at 7:20. Second mile at at 7:29 and third at 7:23. I knew I needed to slow down to avoid disaster. Yet I couldn't figure out why I was so fast. As hard as it is I tried to slow down. Problem was I started setting my sights on people to pass. I passed about 20 people heading into mile 5. For some reason the hills were my friend this day. Odd how that happens. I hauled b-u-t-t up every hill. No rest for the weary. Mile 5 was my slowest but seeing my son at the top of the hill made it worth it. After I hammed it up for him I headed down to the finish. Finish time- 48:21. That, my friend, is a PR!

It was also the validation I needed at this time. Hard work freakin' pays off! Whatdya know? 20 miler on Easter Sunday then we're bringing it on home!

It ain't over til....

....this chick runs Jersey!!

Week #13 done! My old body let me run 52.4 miles last week. Two more weeks and I start winding down. It's sort of depressing to think about it. 18 weeks of hard work, commitment, sweat & tears and it all comes down to one moment. The one defining moment. The make or break moment. Ah, I'm not getting emotional so soon. Shake it off!!

50 miles this week with a 10k thrown in on Saturday. Bring it!!

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

The Crud still lives

I can't even explain what is going on and why I can't seem to shake this crud. Granted it's been a rough winter and I've done the majority of training outdoors I'm still sick. Sinus pressure, ear pain, ear ringing and chest congestion. Those are the symptoms. The diagnosis? The crud.

So yesterday I dragged my cruddy butt out to Central Park for the Colon Cancer 15k. As I had posted last week this was going to be my "shining moment." No I didn't use those words exactly. If you read between the lines you got it though. I got there early so I could find a precious parking spot. I think it's easier to get mugged than find a parking spot in Manhattan! Anyways half an hour after driving around I found a spot. I ran to the park because I knew it was so early I would be able to find a clean port-o-potty. My plan? To stay warm and confined as long as I can. Found a brand spankin' new suite and stationed myself for half an hour. The odd thing is I didn't even go to the bathroom the whole time! Just huddled and stayed warm. I did have a change of clothes in my bag and decided to go with the capri's, tank top & shell jacket since it was 40 degrees at the start.

I headed over to the start area 10 minutes before and thought warm thoughts. The start was rough because it was so crowded. I felt like I was just jogging with a couple hundred people for the first mile. I finally broke through the crowd and was on my own. All was good for the first four miles. My lungs weren't happy the legs were the only ones getting attention so they decided to get in on the action. It's hard to cough up heavy mucus when you're trying to race. From there on the hacking, spitting and labored breathing began. I'm no quitter so I kept pushing myself. I'll admit I wanted to quit a few times. If only I could stop and spit the dam lung out already! I thought what if my lung collapsed right here on the course? The fight between me & my lungs continued for the remainder of the hilly race. It wasn't easy that's for sure! I finished in 1:17:45. I'd like to think that if it weren't for the crud I would've finished in my projected 1:15 or better but come on, that's a good time considering I fought hard for it!

The story of my life. I have to fight hard for everything!

Can you take me Higher?

Higher than 57.3 miles? That's what I ran last week. My highest week to date. That included a 22 miler that felt so good I didn't want to stop because I knew if I did my legs would start to seize. That is also the last time this cycle I'll run that much. I'll run over 50 miles but not that high. Physically I feel great. Sore, no pain. This is GOOD! This is AMAZING! 46 days left! I'm getting to the "hurry up & get here so I can get it done" stage!

This weekend I'm racing The Colon Cancer 15k. My first 15k ever! I've ran every distance under the sun. Gonna have to add that distance to my charm bracelet of course!
I'm gonna put it all out there for this race. This race will show me how far I've come this training cycle. I'm looking forward to it!

Meaning of Life?

I know, I know! It's been a while! I have no good excuse. Training is going well. I'm struggling with other things right now. Mainly life. The value, meaning and importance of life. Not to be a downer but in the past month there have been many deaths. One person passed that I never met and that affected me the most. Little Cody Johnson passed away at the tender age of six. I didn't know him. Never met him. I learned about him through Runners World forums. An unusually tight knit internet family. His Dad, Mickey a runner, has been posting about him for years. His blog was one I checked regulary hoping that one day there would be a "remission" post. It never happened. What did happen was I among hundreds of other fortunate people got to know Cody through his father's eyes. I learned the daily struggles the whole family faced over the past two years. On a daily basis I laughed, cried and prayed for this family. I know nothing of the pain this family is going through. The anger going through their veins. The siblings struggling with the loss. The only positive is that Cody is no longer in pain. Pain no child should ever know. Not to make any other deaths seem minute compared to his death but he didn't get to live his life. He didn't get to go to his prom, go to college, have a family and enjoy his grandchildren. God has a reason. I don't know what the hell it is but it better be good!

Rest In Peace Little Man. ~http://deckapes.blogspot.com/