Monday, March 30, 2009

It ain't over til....

....this chick runs Jersey!!

Week #13 done! My old body let me run 52.4 miles last week. Two more weeks and I start winding down. It's sort of depressing to think about it. 18 weeks of hard work, commitment, sweat & tears and it all comes down to one moment. The one defining moment. The make or break moment. Ah, I'm not getting emotional so soon. Shake it off!!

50 miles this week with a 10k thrown in on Saturday. Bring it!!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Our Deepest Fear

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-by Marianne Williamson from A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Crud still lives

I can't even explain what is going on and why I can't seem to shake this crud. Granted it's been a rough winter and I've done the majority of training outdoors I'm still sick. Sinus pressure, ear pain, ear ringing and chest congestion. Those are the symptoms. The diagnosis? The crud.

So yesterday I dragged my cruddy butt out to Central Park for the Colon Cancer 15k. As I had posted last week this was going to be my "shining moment." No I didn't use those words exactly. If you read between the lines you got it though. I got there early so I could find a precious parking spot. I think it's easier to get mugged than find a parking spot in Manhattan! Anyways half an hour after driving around I found a spot. I ran to the park because I knew it was so early I would be able to find a clean port-o-potty. My plan? To stay warm and confined as long as I can. Found a brand spankin' new suite and stationed myself for half an hour. The odd thing is I didn't even go to the bathroom the whole time! Just huddled and stayed warm. I did have a change of clothes in my bag and decided to go with the capri's, tank top & shell jacket since it was 40 degrees at the start.

I headed over to the start area 10 minutes before and thought warm thoughts. The start was rough because it was so crowded. I felt like I was just jogging with a couple hundred people for the first mile. I finally broke through the crowd and was on my own. All was good for the first four miles. My lungs weren't happy the legs were the only ones getting attention so they decided to get in on the action. It's hard to cough up heavy mucus when you're trying to race. From there on the hacking, spitting and labored breathing began. I'm no quitter so I kept pushing myself. I'll admit I wanted to quit a few times. If only I could stop and spit the dam lung out already! I thought what if my lung collapsed right here on the course? The fight between me & my lungs continued for the remainder of the hilly race. It wasn't easy that's for sure! I finished in 1:17:45. I'd like to think that if it weren't for the crud I would've finished in my projected 1:15 or better but come on, that's a good time considering I fought hard for it!

The story of my life. I have to fight hard for everything!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Can you take me Higher?

Higher than 57.3 miles? That's what I ran last week. My highest week to date. That included a 22 miler that felt so good I didn't want to stop because I knew if I did my legs would start to seize. That is also the last time this cycle I'll run that much. I'll run over 50 miles but not that high. Physically I feel great. Sore, no pain. This is GOOD! This is AMAZING! 46 days left! I'm getting to the "hurry up & get here so I can get it done" stage!

This weekend I'm racing The Colon Cancer 15k. My first 15k ever! I've ran every distance under the sun. Gonna have to add that distance to my charm bracelet of course!
I'm gonna put it all out there for this race. This race will show me how far I've come this training cycle. I'm looking forward to it!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Meaning of Life?

I know, I know! It's been a while! I have no good excuse. Training is going well. I'm struggling with other things right now. Mainly life. The value, meaning and importance of life. Not to be a downer but in the past month there have been many deaths. One person passed that I never met and that affected me the most. Little Cody Johnson passed away at the tender age of six. I didn't know him. Never met him. I learned about him through Runners World forums. An unusually tight knit internet family. His Dad, Mickey a runner, has been posting about him for years. His blog was one I checked regulary hoping that one day there would be a "remission" post. It never happened. What did happen was I among hundreds of other fortunate people got to know Cody through his father's eyes. I learned the daily struggles the whole family faced over the past two years. On a daily basis I laughed, cried and prayed for this family. I know nothing of the pain this family is going through. The anger going through their veins. The siblings struggling with the loss. The only positive is that Cody is no longer in pain. Pain no child should ever know. Not to make any other deaths seem minute compared to his death but he didn't get to live his life. He didn't get to go to his prom, go to college, have a family and enjoy his grandchildren. God has a reason. I don't know what the hell it is but it better be good!

Rest In Peace Little Man. ~