Don't Stop Believin'

I know it's been a whole week since I posted last.
Here's the deal. As I increase the miles in training I start to have more self doubt. I don't understand why but it happens with every training cycle. This week I successfully ran 51 miles with no physical problems. My crazy little brain, however, chooses to have a pity party. This is only compounded by comments from people who see me "running everywhere." If only I could be invisible when I run!

So this week's pity party included a little sobfest. What the heck get it over with right? For my own purposes I'm writing about it to remind me of the drama I choose to put myself through. What makes me think that I can qualify for Boston? Yeah I finished Steamtown in less than four hours but that was all downhill! NJ is flat. I'm going to have to dig deep and maintain my pace with no gravitational pull. I'm only getting older and not breaking any world records anytime soon. I'll probably finish within minutes, or worse, seconds of qualifying time. If I finish this training cycle with no problems there are still variables on race day that could affect my performance. Blah, blah, blah. See the pattern dummy? Again, this is what I choose to put myself through.

Thank goodness for my trusty Ipod. Steve Perry breaks my insanity to remind me-


Then it all comes back to me. I've run 4 marathons and countless races. I've placed as recently as November. A 7:29 pace is nothing to be ashamed of even if it's only for 3.1 miles. Realistically I know I'll never maintain that pace for a whole marathon but I put it all out there anyway. I've been through hell & back in my 39 yrs. I know I can do this. I do believe in myself. I have a wonderful family that believes in me. A great husband who reminds me that I can do it when I lose faith. I'm only out to prove it to myself. Everyone else is already impressed and in awe of my accomplishments. It's time I am too!